Am I Bizarre After i Say That Why Do Older Women Get Uti Is Useless?

Am I Bizarre After i Say That Why Do Older Women Get Uti Is Useless?

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Is there anything wrong with dating someone a lot older than you?

Dee Salmin

Why Men Like Older Women

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If you're dating someone a lot older than you, you've probably had to deal with friends making jokes, people asking "is that your dad/mum?" or seeing strangers lift their eyebrows when they are usually unveiled by you as your mate.

Even though relationships with large age gaps have existed forever, there's still a lot of stigma and taboo that surrounds them. All you possess to do is look at the way people write and talk about celebrities; like Billie Eilish (20) right now rumoured to be dating Jesse Ruthford (31), Florence Pugh (26) recently with Zach Braff (47), Kim Kardasian (41) and Pete Davidson (28), Harry Styles (28) and Olivia Wilde (38), Yung Gravy (26) with Addison Raye's Mum Sheri Easterling (43), and Leonardo Dicaprio (47) with anyone under the age of 25.

When we look at the cultural conversation around relationships with big age gaps, there's usually two main judgements. The first one is the concern that the younger person is being exploited by the older partner, especially when there's money, status, power and sex involved. And the second is that the older partner (usually a man) will be dating someone younger (usually a woman) because they value 'youth and beauty' (and therefore contributing to the toxic idea that women are less valuable as they age, aka the backlash against Leonardo DiCaprio or Taylor Swift's All Too Well - 10 minute version).

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While there's relationships with large age gaps that are exploitative (which we'll chat about), dating someone a lot older than you isn't necessarily problematic, and for some guys it may well have got a great deal of great positive aspects actually.

Here's some expert advice on what you need to consider when it comes to your older bae.

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Does age difference matter in relationships?

A lot of people assume that couples who have a large age gap are more likely to possess an 'unsuccessful relationship' (whatever that means) but according to A newssociate Professor Gery Karantzas, from the School of Mindsets at Deakin College, "age doesn't matter."

"The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, ambitions and values about their connection; support each other in achieving personal goals; foster relationship commitment, intimacy and trust; and resolve problems in constructive ways.

These factors have little do with age. So the reality is, while an get older hole might get about some difficulties for young couples, so long as couples work at their relationship, age should be no barrier."

So if age doesn't matter in relationships (if it's happy, healthy and consensual) what can cause a couple with a large age gap to break up?

It's usually the people around you, making those 'cradle snatcher/cougar/gold digger/daddy/mummy issues' jokes.

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Societies judgement

As humans, we're social beings, we're hard-wired to form connections, so because there's still a lot of stigma and taboo around couples with large age gaps, if you feel like you're being judged and discriminated against by the people around you, Gery says it's going to have an impact on the relationship.

"If you've got huge judgement and enormous pressures from those around you, who are supposed to love you dearly, NUDE OLDER WOMEN TRY VERY HUGE ONE HAVE OUTRAGEOUS ORGASMS but on the other hand possess substantial problems around the age difference, it can cause real stress that spills over into the relationship.

And if it's not strong enough to weather the storm, the relationship can end."

If you feel like you're dealing with some judgement from the people around you right now for your relo, intercourse and connection therapist Lauren Bradley suggests sharing with your liked types how secure and healthful your marriage is normally.

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"Talk about the other factors within your relationship that are more important than age, like communication, your ability to fight fair, the strong connection that you have, the propagated cost technique that you possess collectively,

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all of these things are far more powerful for maintaining a long term relationship than what age you have on your driver's licence".

Is there a power imbalance?

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Since the #MeToo movement, people have been looking at relationships with large age gaps under scrutiny, because we're more aware of exploitation and power at play. So Lauren says if you're with an older partner, it's worth thinking about whether there's a power imbalance.

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"Sometimes age can come with power and authority and in those circumstances, that can set up a strong where you possess an unequal and unfair romance, which can feel coercive, and in quite a few instances fairly violent, or a misuse of power."

If you're wondering about the power dynamics in your relationship, Lauren says some things to consider are whether you feel any unease within the relationship because "these niggles are what prompt us to check in on how we feel and navigate any potential changes we need."

"Perhaps the age difference is creating a power imbalance between who has their needs met most, or who takes the lead on major life decwill beions.

Perhaps you don't feel like you fit with the rest of their life or they don't fit in with yours, leaving behind you sensing separated or lower away from from your very own neighborhood and passions."

Lauren says its worth asking them what they value about you, and see if it matches up with your own beliefs about yourself and who you want to be within a relationship.

"Observe their world and other relationships for cues on whether they establish healthy relationships with other people.

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If you feel undervalued, disrespected, taken for granted, or used, these cues may be signs you need to explore whether this relationship is authentic and healthy for you or not."

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Why consent is so important

Maria (F, 22) told The Hook Up when she was 16 years old, she met an older guy, Dan (26), when she went in alternate and was staying at a learning university student dorm. She liked him upright apart, and the feelings were mutual.

"We were hitting it off, flirting a little bit. And I was like, 'wow this is so exciting.' I didn't care about his age. I believed it seemed to be seen and neat it considerably more pleasing that he has been old, I thought he was so mature and that he must know so many things."

"I had my first sexual experience with him, which I about seemed to be kind of hesitant, but We appeared to be like in addition, 'okay, it's now or never, it's the perfect moment and he's older, so it helps make it so substantially far better only.'"

Maria says now that she's older, looking back on her 'relationship' with this guy, she's completely grossed out. "It's so problematic and it's not okay."

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"I know that you can be very mature for your age, but you're still 15-16 and you're nevertheless a minor in most places. You're in a very different stage in your life and somebody older learns that and they can easily take advantage of it."

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"In the past six years, the method my story provides transformed in the seeing scene and electricity characteristics within it will be insane. There are so many things that I'm not okay with anymore."

Not only was Dan taking advantage of Maria, in some continuing states, having sex with her would have been considered illegal. Depending on what state you live in, you can't legally consent to a sexual relationship with someone older, if you're 16-17 years old. So for the older partner it's considered a criminal offence.

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Which is why it's really important when you're dating or sleeping with someone, and there's a large age gap, it legally needs to be a, and consensual relationship personally. Consent will be key, always!

When you're at different life stages

Although we might like to believe 'you're as old simply because you feel', sometimes your age will reflect what life stage you're at. If you're in your early twenties, you might get at uni, partying heaps, and just focusing on hanging out with friends and having a good time, whereas if you're in your late thirties/forties you might be in the peak of your professional career, and/or looking for to boost a household.

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A lot of you told us that being at different life stages can be a huge reason why you decide to end your large age gap relationship. For Liam (M, 30) who's girlfriend was 19, for a season also though it seemed to be a wonderful connection and they been involved with, it was the different life stages that broke them up.

"We really just wanted different things. She required to experience her 20s. You know, she needed to visit out and possess excitement with buddies. And I'd already done that."

And for Rennie from Port Cook (F, 28) who's dating someone seven years younger than her, she's currently struggling with their different life stages, and what it means for her future.

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"He's starting to move into the world and do uni and start looking at his career and stuff. Whereas I'm kind of well into that and hopefully we'd like to settle down in the coming years.

But it's a little awkward, because I think I've settled on wanting kids and he doesn't know. So it's a bit of like, 'am I putting my life on hold right now?' but I'm trying to stay positive and kind of just enjoy my relationship, what it will be at the minute."

Lauren says despite there being common and stereotypical life stages at certain ages, it's not always the case for everyone, so it's worth having that conversation with your partner.

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"Often we assume that people that are older than us might have certain objectives or agendas, and also culture and society may make us think that those people should be doing certain things by a certain age.

So really have an open discussion with that person about what their expectations for life are. "

There's a lot of great things

If you're dating someone older (or younger), most people might focus on the negatives or all the reasons why it doesn't make sense and won't work, but Lauren says there's actually a lot of positives you can gain from that relationship, there's so much you can learn from someone that's from a different generation.

"You can actually learn a lot about history about life and experiences that people have been through that you might not possess lived through yourself, you may not possess been exposed to.

And you also will gain fresh emotional intelligence and life experience from that person that they'll be able to share."

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